Tard Fest 2004

Went to Ikea in Shaumburg on Sunday with my friend Nate. He lives in Janesville so I stopped and picked him up on the way there.

We spent about three hours looking at all the cool crap they have there. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I know it's cheap, but it still looks cool.

I found a coffee table, two mirrors and a coat rack that I liked. Soooooo, I went down to that part of the store where you pull it all yourself. Well crap, they are out of the coffee table. Well that is what the sign says, but we go around the corner and there is a WHOLE damn endcap full of the things.

Now I'm looking for the coat rack. Go to where it's supposed to be and nothing. I stopped one of the Ikea tards and asked them if there is an endcap like with the coffee tables. He mumbled something I couldn't really understand and then tells me to ask the guy at the info thing at isle twelve. The tard at isle twelve tells me that it is being discontinued and they won't be getting it in.

I decide to cut my losses and check out. I still spent $104

Today I called Ikea and they told me that the coatrack is NOT being discontinued but it didn't look like the Shaumburg store would be getting any. I asked about the Minneapolis store and was told they are getting twenty-five of them this week. I can't get up there this week. I asked if I can call them, pay for it and have someone pick it up. NOPE, you have to get it that day in person cause you have to fill something out. I guess it shouldn't surprise me, the Swedes supported the Nazi's in WWII.

I can't even ask mom to go get it cause she is going to be all gimped-up from a procedure.

I don't understand why they sell this in the stores, but I can't even find it on their website.

On a positive note, Nate and I stopped at Chilis in Rockford and ate dinner. Clayton was our waiter. I miss Clayton! I wish he was still living in Madison.

Charlie Foxtrot

Today I told US Cellular that they can take their craptastic service and cram it where the sun don't shine!! I am now with AT&T wirless,contact me if you want the new number. If you are in my phone I will be making the transfer of numbers, but you will need mine. zakrogers@charter.net

In an attempt to stay in touch with my manliness, I decided to change the spark plugs in my truck. This event was undertaken starting at about 11am this past Tuesday. I have now learned that this should not be done on a day that you have to work.

I started out pretty good, changed the oil with no hitches. Now on to the spark plugs. My truck is a V6, so some of the plugs are hard to get to. I had to disconnect a bunch of crap to get to them. In the process of trying to get the air intake hose which connects from the air cleaner to the throttle body off, I broke the damn plastic thingie that goes inside the hose on the air cleaner end!!! I said screw it for now and continued on, this is NOT going to stop me.

On to the plugs..plug one, no problem. Plug two, no problem. Plug three, why the hell do they put stupid dumbass wires all over the place? Ok, plug three is now done.

Around to the other side. Plug four, what a breeze. Plug five, I have more stuff to disconnect. Plug six, there is that damn firewall again!!!

So all the new plugs are in place and I managed to get everything back in place without any hardware left over.

Now, to fix the air cleaner hose connector thing. I tried super glue, put it on, held it in place for about a minute. "Holds everything" MY ASS!! Now what? I found some silicone adhesive sealer crap and smeared it all over where it broke apart. I haven't checked it in a while but it was holding when I last checked.

My Father would have been proud. I think he haunts me. Everytime I think of doing something half-assed in the garage, I hear his voice "Oh, why did you do that" or "What are you thinking". One of these days I think I am just going to trash the joint just to irritate his hovering soul.

So, I haven't even started cleaning-up and it is 1:15pm and I have to be to work by 2pm. I eeked it out and made it to work on time.

I now understand why they rape you at a repair shop for labor charges. Oh be assured, I didn't learn a big lesson here. I will continue to do what I can when it comes to vehicle maintenance. I just hope I don't screw it up so bad that I can't drive it to get fixed.

Just One Of Those Days

SO, there I was sleepin' away when my phone rings. I see that the number is one from work. And I immediately thing HOLY SHIT!! I'm late for the remote set-up. It was one of those rude awakenings from REM sleep. I threw some clothes on and let the dogs out real quicklike and floored it to work with time to spare. No biggie right? Wrong, the remote I am supposed to set-up isn't until Friday. If you are wondering what a remote is, it is short for "remote broadcast".

After checking the message, the phone call that kicked all of this off was a chick that loaned me a CD to produce a commercial.

I went home, messed around on the computer, ate something and then tried to go back to sleep. Well that didn't happen. I had to be back to work for an air-check.

Got a new cell phone today, whoo hoo...US Cellular, your days are numbered!!!

Back to the Grind

I got up this morning at about 8 or so. I just couldn't stay up, I went back to bed by 10:30 or so and got up and ate something. I took another nap from about 1-2pm. I sleep way to much. I have been working this schedule and I still haven't gotten used to it.

The first day back was a big surprise. I had a bonus check waiting for me. The bonus is for our good ratings. I was number two with people 12 and older. I was number 2 with people 25-54. The government got a pretty nice bonus too. Those greedy bastards!!!

So here I sit. I really need to find more friends that are up late.

Too Much Of a Good Thing

I ran into Nate and Matt (http://www.nateandmatt.com) online and we all went to Sam's Club because I let my membership expire. I wasn't going to get anything, but who can resist stuff in amounts that you can never possibly use before it goes bad. I did end up getting garbage bags and dog treats. I have found that my dog will eat pretty much anything regardless wether it is fresh or not.

Finally got to see Nate and Matt's house in Waunakee. VERY NICE!! and I'm not just saying that because Matt cooked a fab-u-lous steak and potato and portabella mushroom dinner. We walked to Culvers for frozen custard and then back. Damn there being no cab company in Waunakee.

Blast from the Past

I left Oakdale this afternoon just after Noon. Wisconsin is horrible for taxes. The average price for gas in Wisconisin is $1.95 a gallon. While in Minnesota this weekend, it was $1.85. Apparently we have the second highest gas tax in the United States. Another reason I should consider moving.

I believe I have ALL of my shit out of my Mother's house. I'm pretty sure she will either find more of my stuff or try to pawn stuff off on me that she doesn't want. Hey! Freebies are good, but I have been trying to thin my things out, and now I am bringing more stuff here.

On the way back, I was listening to a bunch of cassette tapes that I had. Mostly crap so most got thrown out. I did find a bunch of tapes of the old WLOL and KDWB back whe they were "Twin Cities 101" I will listen to those later in their entirety. I found myself laughing out loud though when I came across me playing radio DJ and my Brother Wayne playing piano for the music. I was doing live commercials complete with character voices and singing jingles. I guess the seed was planted long ago, but I knew that.

I took the scenic route back, down HWY 61 and through LaCrosse, WI. I stopped at the mall there and visited with Phil. He is a guy that I kind of rescued from screwed up relationship in Appleton, WI. He is looking good and healthy and happy. He completed his HS Diploma. Way to go Phil!!

Got back home, unpacked, mowed the lawn, ate and here I am. So until next time, take it easy, and if you can get it easy, take it twice.

Oh My God!!! Enough already

Mom and I went to lunch today with Jean Popcorn. It was really nice seeing her again after many many years. Probably at least fifteen or so. After lunch, we took the long way home from St. Clair and Fairview area in St. Paul. It always makes me feel older than I should when I see how much things have changed since I have moved from here. As soon as we got home, which was about 1pm or so, I have been going through crap, crap and more crap. I just finished about a half hour ago. I have a bunch of stuff I say I am going to try and sell on eBay, but I have never used that site before so it may be a while. Anyone interested in a buch of California Raisins? Remember those stupid things? I found some old Country Kitchen yo-yo's and a bunch of 45rpm records. Those combined with all the vinyl that I have in my basement, and Mom I sure that I can pay off my truck. We'll see about that one. I'm heading back to Madison tomorrow. Hopefully it will be uneventful (to be read as no cops to impede my progress)

Near Record Time

Well, here I am sitting in Oakdale, MN. I made it here in about three hours and fourty-five minutes. That may be a record. To quote a bumper sticker I saw many years ago "I'm not speeding, I'm just flying low". Mom nearly had a cow after I told her I had hit speed of 110mph. Of course this is after a news item about people hitting speeds of 125 or so on area highways and the State Trooper talking about how easy it would be to get in an accident. So, tomorrow It is off to have lunch with a lady that used to babysit me and my brother many many years ago. We called her Jean Popcorn. That's because she would always make us popcorn when she was here. Keep in mind this is before microwave or air-poppers. After that, I'm sure I will be shackled to my old room to go through old crap. What treasures will be found. Maybe I will come back with another truckload this time.

How Was I supposed to Know

SOOOOOO, Jeramy and I head up to Kalahari in the Dells. We get there, find a spot to park. It was next to some idiot that drives an Excursion that is parked right on the line. (Probably some soccer mom that can't see over the edges of the door into the sideview mirrors.)

We get inside only to find out that the passes that I have are not good today. Not because they are expired, which they aren't, but the indoor waterpark is at capacity and they have to save spots for their guests. I can understand that, but WHAT THE HELL!! What if someone had driven a couple of hours to get there only to find out that they can't get in. We couldn't get in even if we paid. VERY FRUSTRATING!!!

Ok, we aren't going to dwell on it. We got something to eat at that retro Denny's on the strip. What a hoot that was. I got the twirly stool that didn't twirl. Jeramy offered me his, but I figured I should try to act like an adult, hell I shouldn't be screwing around with the damn stool anyway.

Jeramy cracks me up. He has set menu items at Denny's depending on what time of day it is. It was the French Toast slam today. I had the Chicken Fried Steak with hash browns, grits, eggs and English Muffin.

Then it was off the the strip. There are some interesting things down there. We decided to check out the freaks. So freak watching was free on the strip, but we paid to see the really freaky freaks at the "Ripley's believe it or Not". (http://www.ripleys.com) It takes about 45 minutes to walk through and is pretty interesting. We walked back to the truck and rested on one of the benches. You'd think people had never seen to gay guys sitting on a bench together. The I looked at the license plates on cars. Mostly from everywhere except Wisconsin.

We HWY 12 back to Madison instead of the Interstate, it's usually prettier that way, but is was extremely overcast today. Dropped him off at his place and stopped by Happy Wok on the way home. I think I am addicted to that stuff.

Heading to the Twin Cities to visit with Mom and to clean up and go through more of my shit that she has found. I swear, she should just throw it out, I'd never know about it. I obviously don't miss it. She keeps finding crap I have forgotten about. Art projects from Kindergarten?!? JUST THROW IT OUT!!!! So now I feel like a turd cause I threw them out.

I'll try to update while there, but don't hold your breath.

Lazy Day

It was a great day for laying around. I spent most of the day with Jeramy. He is such a sweet guy. We went to the mall, ate at Laredo's, came to here and watched Jeffery. Then we went to his house and soaked in the hottub. I think I need to get one of those, it is SO relaxing. Got home a little while ago.

Unexpected Surprises

So, today was the first official day of my vacation and it would seem that I am finding out who true friends are. I've placed three calls to "friends" in Milwaukee. I actually called on Sunday night. As of right now, only ONE has called me back. Kinda makes you feel like a turd in a punchbowl...unwanted.

Well, I guess them blowing me off happened for a reason. I met this really nifty guy named Jeramy. We met online of all places and we hung out the rest of the late afternoon. He is a really down to earth guy, at least that is my first impression. He has an interesting past, I think that is just part of the intrigue.

SO, back to my original thoughts, do I just let it go or do I just say screw it and blow them off from now on. One of them was actually just online on AIM and didn't say a damn thing to me. I guess I see where I rank.

And speaking of surprises, Sev called me today. It was really nice to hear from him again. We haven't spoken much in the last month and that makes me sad. But he needs his space and he has a second job now so he doesn't have much time.

The Day After

HOLY CRAP!! I puked after a night of drinking. This is the first time this has happened since New Years 90-91.

Seeing that it was my birthday yesterday, I decided to go out and "celebrate". I had one of my roommates drop me off so I wouldn't have to leave my truck at the bar. I knew I could find a ride home somehow.

I am such a lightweight when it comes to drinking. I had four Red Bull and Vodkas and I think my skeleton turned to jelly. Mabye I was subliminally working on acute alcoholism. Hmmm

Speaking of acute, a really cute guy took me home. Took me home as in took me home..to my house and dropped me off.

I can't wait till next year! or not...

Went to Potbelly on State street with my friend Josh, got a Iced Mocha at Michelangelos, stepped into State street arcade and now here I am.

Why Am I Up

Here it is just after eight Saturday morning and I am up drinking coffee. I hate it when my body just decides it's time to get up and I'm not ready to. Usually it is the the dog just wanting to go out, but not today.

So I was officially on vacation as of about Noon yesterday. As of now, I have done absolutely nothing. I hate these vacations where I really don't have anything planned. I wanted to go on a road-trip to Nashville and Memphis and maybe even Charleston to visit my brother Wayne.

I couldn't find anyone to go with me and I am really just tired of going on long trips by myself. I suppose I could have flown but what fun is that? Soooo, it looks like I will just stay in the region and try and hook-up with friends.

Oh yeah, it's my birthday today, Happy Birthday to me. Whoopdefreakindoodah

WTF?

So, I never intended to start this blog. I was simply trying to post a comment on the blog thingie that my friends Matt and Nate sent me. (http://www.nateandmatt.com) But since I got this far, I figure why not give it a shot and it seems that all the cool kids are doing it.

On second thought, that is how I started smoking many years ago. I quit two years ago, but if I start again, don't expect to see updates on their site cause they will be DEAD.

So, now that I'm done rambling, HOW THE HELL DO I GET OUT OF HERE???

Thanks Nate and Matt